911

Going to bed the other night, I noticed people in my shed, stealing things. I phoned the police but was told nobody was in the area to help. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible. I hung up.

A minute later, I phoned again. “Hello” I said, “I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. You don’t have to worry now because I shot them.”

Within minutes, there were half a dozen police cars in the area, plus helicopters and an armed response unit. They caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the officers said, “I thought you said you shot them.” To which I replied, “I thought you said there was no one available.”